Words vs. Actions : The Unspoken Equation
When I reflect on the disconnect between what people say and what they do (actually), I often find myself grappling with the mathematics of human behavior. There’s an inherent asymmetry between language and action, a divergence that reveals much about the true nature of people. Understanding this tension is like solving an equation where one side —what people say —often doesn’t balance with the other side — what they do. The question becomes: in this imbalance, where does the truth lie? How do I discern what someone really means when their words and actions don’t align?
The Entropy of Language
Language, to me, resembles entropy in thermodynamics. It’s a system full of potential but prone to disorder. Every time I speak or hear someone else speak, there’s a certain unpredictability, much like how entropy measures the randomness in a system. Words are symbols, abstractions that carry meaning but also carry the possibility of misunderstanding. They scatter like particles in motion, bumping into interpretations, getting distorted along the way.
The philosopher Jacques Derrida reminds me that meaning in language is always deferred — never fully present in the words themselves but constantly shifting, evolving, much like an open system in thermodynamics. Whenever I engage in conversation, I realize that words, despite their intention, often leave gaps — gaps where misunderstanding, ambiguity, and even deception can creep in.
This uncertainty reminds me of the Heisenberg uncertainty principle, which states that we can never simultaneously know both the position and momentum of a particle with perfect accuracy. Similarly, I find that words never fully capture both the depth of thought and the intention behind them. Language is my attempt to measure one aspect of thought, but as soon as I pin down meaning, some other dimension eludes me.
The Gravity of Action
In contrast, actions feel like gravity — solid, immutable, binding. While words can drift into ambiguity, actions pull intentions into the physical world, grounding them in something observable, measurable. When I think about human behavior, I see actions as a kind of gravitational force that gives mass to otherwise weightless words. To act is to exert energy, to manifest one’s will upon the world, in the same way, that gravity bends the space around it.
Søren Kierkegaard’s philosophy resonates deeply here : he argued that our existence is defined not by what we say but by what we do. Just as the laws of physics dictate that objects in motion remain in motion unless acted upon by an external force, so too do I believe that actions speak to the inertia of a person’s true character. While words can be fabricated or easily changed, actions require energy — momentum — and thus they are more reliable indicators of one’s true state of being.
Jean-Paul Sartre’s existentialism, too, suggests that our essence is created by our choices. Like Newton’s third law — that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction — our choices reverberate, reflecting who we are in the world. Every action sets off a chain of consequences that ripples through our relationships, our work, our life. Unlike words, which may dissipate into the air, actions leave behind a tangible impact, like the marks left by gravity on spacetime.
The Discrepancy and the Hidden Variables
When I encounter a gap between words and actions, I often see it as a hidden variable problem — something akin to the anomalies that Einstein sought to explain with general relativity. People say one thing and do another because they are dealing with hidden forces — internal struggles, social pressures, or unconscious biases — that influence their behavior.
In Erving Goffman’s terms, life is like a stage, and we all wear masks, concealing the forces driving us from within. Just like in physics, where dark matter or dark energy are invisible yet crucial in explaining the universe’s behavior, these hidden forces shape our actions even when they don’t align with our words. Often, when someone says they believe in one thing but acts in contradiction, I realize that their true motivations are like these hidden variables — only detectable through their impact on the trajectory of behavior.
Take, for instance, cognitive dissonance, which reminds me of an unstable system in physics. When people experience a contradiction between their words and actions, they feel an internal tension — an imbalance in their cognitive system — and seek to resolve it. In this way, I can often detect the presence of dissonance through the way people fidget, justify, or suddenly shift their stance, much like how an unstable object will wobble before coming to rest.
Unveiling Intent : Solving for X
Given this complexity, how do I solve for the unknown? How do I determine what someone really means when their words and actions don’t align? For me, it requires a methodical approach, almost like solving an equation.
- Consistency Over Time : One of the first variables I assess is time. Just as in physics, where multiple observations can help map out the trajectory of an object, I look for consistency. If someone’s actions repeatedly contradict their words, this pattern reveals far more than a single instance could. Consistency, or the lack thereof, is the clearest indicator of intention — like observing a planet’s orbit over time to understand the gravitational forces at play.
- Context and External Forces : I also consider the external forces that may be influencing behavior. Just as in physics, where friction or other forces can affect an object’s motion, I realize that societal pressures, fear, or survival instincts can push people to act in ways that don’t match their verbal commitments. Understanding these forces — whether they stem from social expectations or internal conflicts — allows me to adjust my understanding of their behavior, much like factoring in air resistance when calculating the trajectory of a falling object.
- Non-verbal Communication : The Subtle Dynamics : Non-verbal cues often act as the missing data points in my equation. Like the fine details in a physical system — subtle shifts in energy or momentum — body language, tone, and facial expressions provide valuable information. These unconscious actions are the hidden dynamics of human behavior, and they frequently reveal the truth more clearly than spoken language. They are like small fluctuations in a system, pointing to underlying forces that words might obscure.
- Empathy as a Form of Relativity : Empathy, to me, is akin to a form of relativity — it allows me to understand someone’s perspective from their own frame of reference. By putting myself in their position, I can better grasp the internal conflicts and motivations that might lead to a gap between words and actions. In doing so, I navigate their reality, much as we navigate curved spacetime in Einstein’s theory of general relativity.
The Equation of Truth
When I consider the disconnect between what people say and what they do, I realize that understanding human behavior is much like solving a complex equation in physics. Words are like potential energy — unrealized until acted upon — while actions are kinetic, revealing the true trajectory of a person’s intent. The gap between the two can be explained by hidden variables, external pressures, or internal conflicts, just as anomalies in physics require deeper understanding to solve.
In the end, the truth lies not in the absolutes but in the balance between these forces. By observing consistency, analyzing context, and being attuned to non-verbal cues, I find I can better decipher what people really mean. Much like in mathematics and physics, the solution is rarely straightforward — but (I believe) by recognizing the laws that govern human behavior, one can come closer to solving the equation of truth that lies beneath the surface. And, a wiseman once observes such dissonance, prefers silence.
The wise man sees through words that fall apart,
Deception dances, but he plays no part.
In silence deep, he guards his knowing eyes,
Revealing nothing, while truth quietly lies.
Thanks for dropping by !
Disclaimer : Everything written above, I owe to the great minds I’ve encountered and the voices I’ve heard along the way.