The Conspiracy of Consciousness
He often found himself immersed in quiet contemplation, staring into the abyss of human existence, seeking to unravel the complexities that defined his every thought, decision, and emotion. From his earliest days of inquiry into philosophy, neuroscience, and existentialism, he had come to recognize an unsettling truth — consciousness was the root of suffering, and human existence, in its entirety, was driven by forces far beyond comprehension, disguised in narratives that promised meaning where none inherently existed. Life, it seemed, was an entropic spiral moving ever forward into chaos, while humans, tragically aware of their finitude, crafted illusions to avoid confronting this truth.
One cannot begin to dissect the human condition without understanding its most integral feature : consciousness. To him, this was the ultimate aberration in the universe, a self-referential loop that imbued its possessor with the unique ability to contemplate its own demise. Consciousness, far from being a divine gift or the hallmark of human superiority, was a curse that trapped humanity in a cycle of suffering, anxiety, and self-delusion. Herein lay the crux of his reflection : consciousness not only allows humans to perceive the world, but it also forces them to grapple with the inescapable fact that they exist only to one day cease existing.
This awareness of death, of the fleeting nature of life, was not merely an intellectual recognition. It permeated every fiber of human existence, shaping how people loved, feared, hoped, and acted. At its core, life was a series of defenses erected to obscure the terrifying reality of oblivion. Evolution had programmed humans to survive, to reproduce, and to protect their fragile lives, yet the very faculties that ensured survival — cognition, foresight, memory — also condemned them to a life of existential dread.
He found resonance with the bleak conclusions of Schopenhauer, who described life as an unceasing will to survive, driven by blind, insatiable desire. For Schopenhauer, life itself was suffering, as the endless pursuit of desires led only to temporary relief, never to lasting fulfillment. This idea — that human life was defined not by its achievements or joys, but by the endless postponement of inevitable death — struck him as profoundly accurate. Yet, Schopenhauer’s remedy, to negate the will, seemed unrealistic in a world where the forces of biology overpowered the frail aspirations of philosophy.
It was Thomas Ligotti, however, who articulated the most precise expression of his thoughts in The Conspiracy Against the Human Race. Ligotti’s proposition, that consciousness is an evolutionary error, seemed to distill the essence of his own reflections. Consciousness, according to Ligotti, was the evolutionary misstep that produced a species aware of its own mortality, thereby opening the door to existential horror. Humans, unlike any other species, possessed the curse of knowing too much, of seeing through the illusions that nature had crafted to ensure survival.
But Ligotti’s view of consciousness as a mistake, while accurate in its pessimism, lacked the full scope of intellectual rigor that he sought. For him, the problem was not simply that consciousness caused suffering, but that consciousness created the very systems that perpetuated this suffering in increasingly sophisticated ways. Human culture — religion, politics, art, technology — was not the antidote to existential despair, but its elaborate manifestation. Every institution, every belief system, was built to obscure the fundamental truth that life was meaningless, and that all human endeavors were ultimately futile.
The Neuroscientific Perspective : Consciousness as an Epiphenomenon
His deep interest in neuroscience compounded his disillusionment. As he studied the brain, he came to see that consciousness itself was not a unified, magical phenomenon but an epiphenomenon — a byproduct of countless neural processes, each acting in response to stimuli, none of which had any inherent purpose beyond survival. The human brain, that complex web of synaptic firings and biochemical exchanges, was nothing more than a survival machine. It processed information, predicted outcomes, and generated behaviors that maximized the organism’s ability to continue its existence.
The brain’s default mode network, responsible for self-referential thinking, was perhaps the most tragic aspect of this biological design. It kept the individual locked in a perpetual cycle of rumination, endlessly rehearsing past experiences, planning for future scenarios, and reinforcing a sense of self that was fundamentally illusory. The very architecture of human cognition seemed designed to perpetuate suffering. Evolution had created a brain that not only allowed humans to survive but also condemned them to constantly reflect on their survival, to the point of rendering life itself unbearable.
From this perspective, free will became an illusion. Human behavior was not driven by some noble sense of agency or autonomy, but by the intricate workings of neurons, neurotransmitters, and hormones, all of which operated according to the deterministic laws of biology and physics. And yet, humans persisted in the belief that they were the authors of their lives, that their choices mattered, that they could somehow transcend their biology through acts of will or self-improvement.
The Illusions of Culture : Religion, Progress, and Meaning
Religion, in his view, was perhaps the most transparent manifestation of humanity’s need to obscure the terror of existence. Religion provided a narrative framework that promised meaning, order, and an afterlife — three things that the universe itself refused to offer. For millennia, humans had clung to these narratives, not because they were true, but because they were necessary. They allowed people to live without constantly confronting the meaninglessness of their existence, to find solace in the idea that they were part of a grand cosmic plan, even when all evidence pointed to the contrary.
But it was not just religion that perpetuated this illusion. The modern secular world was equally complicit. The notion of progress, so central to contemporary thought, was, in his estimation, another illusion. Humans believed that they were constantly advancing, that technology, science, and culture were moving them toward some higher state of being. But what was progress, if not the continuous acceleration toward a more sophisticated form of distraction? Technological innovation, rather than alleviating suffering, merely created new forms of alienation and existential confusion. The more humans advanced, the more they distanced themselves from any authentic understanding of their predicament.
He was particularly struck by the irony of transhumanist ideals, which promised the possibility of overcoming human limitations through technology. Immortality, enhanced intelligence, and even the colonization of other planets were hailed as the next steps in human evolution. But to him, these ambitions were nothing more than a grand extension of the same delusions that had always plagued humanity. Immortality did not solve the problem of meaninglessness; it simply prolonged the agony. Colonizing other planets did not provide purpose; it merely relocated the absurdity of existence to a different celestial body.
Suffering as the Core of Existence
Suffering, he concluded, was not a side effect of existence — it was its essence. The human condition, defined by its awareness of death and its desperate attempts to avoid suffering, was fundamentally tragic. Yet, humans were not content to merely survive; they were driven to find meaning in their suffering, to believe that there was some higher purpose behind their pain. This, he thought, was the final cruelty : the very mechanisms that had evolved to help humans cope with suffering had also ensured that they would never fully escape it.
Consider the role of love. Humans held love up as the ultimate source of meaning, the one thing that made life worth living. But what was love, if not a biological imperative designed to ensure reproduction and social cohesion? Love, in its most idealized form, was a fleeting emotion rooted in neural circuits and hormonal responses. It was not eternal, it was not transcendent — it was a temporary state of mind, one that would inevitably give way to loss, heartbreak, or indifference. And yet, humans continued to seek it out, believing that it could somehow redeem their suffering.
Civilization as a Survival Mechanism
He often reflected on civilization itself as an extension of the brain’s survival instinct. Civilization, with its laws, economies, and institutions, was a vast network of control designed to reduce uncertainty and mitigate the chaos of nature. But in doing so, it also created new forms of oppression, alienation, and suffering. Modern life, with all its comforts and conveniences, did not free humans from the existential burden — it intensified it. People now had more time, more resources, and more mental space to contemplate their insignificance in the universe. Civilization had not alleviated suffering; it had merely transformed it into more complex, insidious forms.
The Ultimate Realization : There is No Escape
In the end, his reflections led him to a stark conclusion: there was no escape from the human condition. The conspiracy against the human race was not some external force, not the work of malevolent gods or cosmic indifference. It was the inevitable consequence of being conscious in an unconscious universe, of being a creature that was both driven by instinct and cursed with the ability to question its own existence. Every attempt to find meaning, every act of creation, every moment of joy was, at its core, a futile gesture against the vast, indifferent void.
Yet, paradoxically, this realization brought him a strange sense of clarity. To live authentically, he thought, was to live without illusion, to accept the tragedy of existence without seeking false comforts. There was no ultimate redemption, no higher purpose. But there was still the possibility of understanding, of seeing the world as it truly was. And perhaps, in that understanding, there was a kind of freedom — not from suffering, but from the need to justify it.
And so, he continued to live, not in hope of some distant salvation, but in quiet acceptance of the absurdity of it all.
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Disclaimer : Everything written above, I owe to the great minds I’ve encountered and the voices I’ve heard along the way.